I am halfway through my senior year and I can’t even believe it. This time next year I have no idea how my life will be going but I know that there are some things I want to change going into the new year. Over this first semester of this school year, I have learned so much about myself like: what stresses me out, what calms me down, what type of friends I fit well with, what I feel comfortable with, and what I don’t. I’ve learned a lot about people as well. I feel like I have been put in many situations where I have to stop and ask myself the question of, “What should I do?” And starting this year, I want to work on the answer being, “What is best for myself.”

My fear, as far as focusing on myself, is finding the balance of helping myself as well as being a good person to others. I feel that it means to be a good person is to help others. Help people through their struggles and to be there for them. But how can I do that if I am not there for myself?

I was in the car with my friend and we were talking about this question. He used the analogy of filling a bowl with water. We all have a bowl that is constantly being filled as we live our lives and we want the bowl to fill all the way to the top so that we can be satisfied. But what we do, as humans, is constantly pour the water that we have in our bowls into other’s bowls trying to help them. But what that ends up doing to our bowl is leaving us empty.

My goal is to find that balance. The balance in figuring out what I need to help heal myself but also still maintain being a helping hand. How do I help others without stretching myself thin?

I think this begins with fully accepting myself and who I am as well as committing to taking care of myself fully. When I look back at my past, there are moments that I can recall where I just felt happier than I am now. But the things that made me happy were all little things. It wasn’t a significant moment or huge life-changing thing that I did. They were things like bullet journaling, doing yoga, drinking more water, taking my vitamins, facetiming friends, painting, singing for fun, playing piano and ukulele for fun, writing poetry, going outside, and so much more. None of these things are hard or take a lot of time. But they were all small things that brought me simple joys. And for the year 2019, I want to make it about finding self-love in the simple joys of life.

Senior year is, for sure, a stressful period of life. But I want to find ways around it and I don’t mean avoid my issues but I want to overcome them with things that I enjoy. I want to create a healthy lifestyle for myself. I want to bring back the passion that I had for the small moments and make them have a big impact on my life.

Also, for 2019, I want to continue my path of better understanding people. I feel that this year I have been put in many situations where I really had to stop how I was feeling and try to focus on how the other person was taking a situation. That is such a hard thing to do. It’s very difficult to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when all you want to do is get your own point across. But, in the end, it helps so much more than just believing that only your point of view is correct. It has helped me truly discover who should be in my life and who maybe shouldn’t. A friend of mine told me that friends aren’t meant to stay in your life forever. They are there for a season of your life when they are needed the most to help you learn and grow from the relationship. But, just because you decide to let go of someone in your life, doesn’t mean you can’t be civil. Your intentions should never be ones of hate but of growth and love; growth for them in their lives and growth in your own.

I want my new year to be one of growth. I want to learn more about myself. I look for a better understanding of the world around me every day. You can learn so so much from any situation, especially the ones that hurt you the most. But I truly believe that every moment in your life is there to help shape you into the person you were meant to be and sometimes you just have to trust where that is going to lead you. We shouldn’t try to rush through life because we feel that something needs to happen in order for our lives to be better than it is. We should be looking for meaning in every moment so that we can learn and blossom in our own special way.

I hope that everyone has a very Merry Christmas and that you love yourself fully this New Year. ❤

Uncategorized life lifestyle newstart self-love